Ep03 - Stilted

Short one this week - I'm working way too much. Haven't had a day off in a month. Poor, employed me, right?

Anyway, "shorter" is a good theme, because the Stilt Challenge was not a success. The runway was downright creepy, and the clothes were a waste of many yards of fabric.

Worst show moments: The million times we had to hear Bryce talk about fabric grain, and any interaction between  Bert and Viktor, and stooping to Kim Kardashian as a judge.


Best show moments: When Joshua noted that he and Julie could easily switch genders, Becky and Kimberly overcoming their discomfort with each other, Cecelia rocking a blowout so that we could see that she's actually very pretty, and harmonious teams Anthony Ryan + Laura, Anya + Olivier.  

Laura Anthony Ryan Dramatic - flowed beautifully on the run way. My one quibble is that the shoulder flowers make the model look neckless. My rating: Top 3
  Anya   Olivier  Completely boring attempt to blend men's and women's wear, because the bland colors allowed nothing to stand out. My rating: Top 3, but only because there needs to be a third
  Becky  Kimberly  This is actually cool. I like the way it straddles the line between circusy (because, hey, stilt walkers) and real clothing. Smart using a one-shoulder jacket to highlight the model's tattoo, and the asymmetric hem actually balances the proportions. My rating: Top3, Winner
Viktor  Bert The shirt is an ugly tablecloth from an overdecorated Christmas table. The top, with it's awkward construction that gave the model a huge stomach, is bad drapes from your stuffy great-grandmother's house. My rating: Bottom 3
 Cecelia  Danielle Horrible 70s palette, bad 80s silhouette, ugly stiff 60s beehive hairdo. If not for the stilts, I would call this a frumpy 80s office manager wearing her mother's wig. (Frosted wigs were big in the 60s - my mother had one that aged her two decades. She looks younger now at 75 than she did in that wig.) My rating: Bottom 3, and Danielle should be auf for the blouse and the hair
 Fallene  Bryce  Unfinished and cliche. After Bryce's badgering and Fallene's lack of fortitude meant she fell apart, they ended up with a tube top and a tutu. The headpiece was Fallene's only contribution. My rating: Safe, only because others were much worse.
Joshua Julie I'd normally call this a weird matador costume, but why wouldn't you put a stilt walker in a costume. This went wrong with an awkward cummerbund and red lame (missing the accent mark on purpose) top . My rating: Bottom 3

The judges agreed with my top 2, but bizarrely loved the beehive office manager look, I think because they were so impressed by the masterful use of chiffon. They raved about the flow of the red dress, and praised Kimberly's pants to the skies.

Anya and Olivier were safe, and the three costumey looks (as Joshua astutely pointed out) were on the bottom.

They especially hated the matador cape and had a hard time deciding whether it was worse that Fallene only made a headpiece, or that it was the only think that they liked about Bryce's outfit.

And the upshot:


Team Red wins, with Anthony Ryan ceding the title and immunity to Laura.

Fallene is Auf'd

So we come away with the following:

Danielle and Cecelia can sew. Becky and Kimberly bear watching. Bert is a bratty know-it-all and Viktor is a bratty know-it-less. Joshua is much more mature than I expected. Julie is still invisible. Bryce is irritating and too self-congratulatory for his output. Laura managed not to be odious this week at all, and she was properly grateful to mensch Anthony Ryan. Olivier and Anya are cute together; with their authentic and suspect accents.

Poor Fallene - she just wasn't equipped to do the show. But she seems like a sweetheart and her clothes are very cute. Good luck to her!