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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Ep 3: Party gone out of bounds

Heidi tells the designers that Tim is taking them to a party. Even without the Lifetime previews, I think we all know where this is headed. But first, let's play Jerk the Models Around.

You'd think at this point they'd have all the designers choose models, let them pick the ones that are the best walkers. But no, they ask Gretchen as the winner to choose whether to keep her model, who is awesome and she's won two challenges with, or pick someone else. Of course she keeps her model. Which means two of the best models, Jason's and Nicholas', are out through no fault of their own. Boo!

Tim meets the designers at Party Glitter! Surprise...not (att: Heidi Klum). It's an unconventional materials challenge. Tim tell them that the judges don't respond well to fabric-like materials. Did you get that, designers?

Casanova will be loading up on tablecloths and stuffed animals.

Besides choosing materials, the sweepstakes for the new villain is in progress, now that the late unlamented Asshat Jason is gone. Who will it be?

AJ the Over-communicative
Gretchen the Over-opinionated
Casanova the Over-literal
Casanova's stuffed animal vivisectionism, to which several designers react as though he's performing animal sacrifice in the workroom, gives him an early lead.

But it appears we have a winner!

New Project Runway verb -
Gretch: the act of aggressively sharing your undoubtedly superior knowledge,
whether sought or not.
Example- She gretched about Sarah's aesthetic as shown by color palette, calling it "Tropicana."  

Tim's walkabout:

AJ wants to make it clear, to anyone and everyone, that just because he usually works with toys and tchotchkes, he's not automatically going to nail the challenge.

Zip it, AJ

Valerie's dress is black and white and inspired by the Ascot Gavotte in My Fair Lady. She's thinking of adding a teal belt. Tim tells her that Ascot Gavotte would never introduce teal. But, I thought I remembered, and sure enough...

...they did introduce a sort of peachy beige.
Photo from My Fair Lady, 1964

Kristin and Tim discuss animal balls. Tim prefers the woolly ones.

'Nuff said.
Next Tim visits Sarah. He thinks Sarah palm tree shapes look fun and playful.

Add your own caption here

Peach wants her dress to be subtle. Tim reminds her that this is the party store challenge. He tells her she's so tense she has coal up her butt, and she needs to push out a diamond. Not exactly what one usually expects of Sir Tim.

After, seeing all their work, Tim is blown away (ba-dum-bum). Yes, I've turned into a sixth-grade boy.

The models come in for a fitting, bearing The Twist. They each have a bag with more stuff from Party Glitter - the designers have to make an accessory using only the contents of the bag.


Time's up! Andy: "It is what it is, but it isn't, but it is." His garment: it isn't. Even close to finished.

Runway day!

Mondo wants to know if he should don a fake mustache for the runway show.
Strangely, he's not consulting Gretchen.

Gretchen is busy reminding everyone to clean up their work stations.

The producers have a comment.
Disagree. I think she believes that she's actually being helpful. She's a jerk, not a bitch. Then again, they probably didn't have a Know It All tiara big enough for her head in Party Glitter. The producers are clearly setting her up for the Reality Show Comeuppance. Remember what happened to Ivy in Ep 1?

Peach thinks Andy's dress in genius in progress, but it's clear he won't finish, so she offers to help. Love her - she's eager to be involved in extraordinary work, even if it isn't her own. April also joins in, which is very generous, since she and Andy are both working in the same genre.

Gretchen disapproves.
Runway time! The judges are Michael, Nina and Betsey Johnson. Betsey Johnson is a character, and I admire that. Props to her, too, because she's 68! But I have something of a grudge against her for saying that anyone larger than a size 8 couldn't possibly be interested in wearing her clothes. This at a time when she herself was nowhere near as svelte as she is now. Anyway, there's immunity this time, and one of you will be OUT.

Very pretty. Christopher showed a great deal of taste in creating this textile out of napkins, then running some threads of glitter through it to add bling. I like that he made a day dress rather than evening clothes, which the wares at Party Glitter certainly suggested. If the judges were in the right mood, it could end up Top 3. Perfect styling, too. This could be the bridesmaid dress that every woman would kill to be assigned to wear - and it could go to a picnic, a party and even to the office with a jacket.

My rating: Safe, but very close to the top

Michael D
No. Just no. The skirt looks like the Tin Man's hat, and it moves about as well. It's like the model tried to crawl out of a lampshade and got stuck half way. The top also looks unnatural, like the model can't move for fear of breaking it.

My rating: Bottom 3

Super cool. Almost reptilian, but in a sexy way.

My rating: Top 3

A hot glue-gun mess. Bad fit, looks like the party store threw up on the skirt, and, um, I don't know why designers insist on putting fringe on the front/middle of short skirts. It brings to mind really unfortunate pictures.

My rating: Just makes it to Safe. If there were a bottom 4, he'd be there.

Cute. Reminds me of Daniel V's plant dress in Season 2. There's a purple flower design at the waist on the model's left that gives it a nice pop of color.  

My rating: Safe

Michael C
A still photo doesn't do Michael C's dress justice. It moves really well, and he's incorporated pailettes that provide a subtle flash as the model walks.

My rating: If there were a top 4, this would be in it. Safe.

Well, it's certainly not matronly. I like the black-white-fuschia color combo. The bustier is cute, although I think the proportion would be better if the neckline was a bit lower. Overall, this is cute, but if you were inclined to be uncharitable you could say this is a little girl's party dress in a bigger size.

My rating: Safe

Hmm. The jacket and skirt are fun and urban, but the shirt, boots and cuff are from another, more crunchy outfit. You can still see what she was thinking - chevrons - but it doesn't hang together.

My rating: Safe

Love the mix of the two shades of pink, and the simple necklace and tiara.

My rating: Safe

Oh. My. God. Not only does the front look like it does, but the back looks like a completely different ruffled monstrosity.

My rating: Bottom 3 - OUT

A total mess with the plastic bags hanging off it. The proportions are terrible and it's unflattering to the model. The only thing it has going for it is color.

My rating: Bottom 3

Very, very chic. Tough but wearable. Everything works to enhance the black crystalline look. Earlier this year there was a trend of putting excrescences on clothing that looked like crystal geodes, and IMO it never worked. April made it organic and flattering.

My rating: Top 3, the winner in my book.

Boring silvery dress with cardboard accents that look like an afterthought. The cardboard doesn't move at all. She would have been better off leaving the stuff around the waist off and just keeping the neckline accent. Still a snooze, but less awkward.

My rating: Safe

Wow. Not only is this beautiful and sexy, it's also flattering. Valerie managed to use volume in the skirt but make it slimming with the graphic nature of the black and white

My rating: Top 3, and a very close second for the win

Peach, Michael C, Ivy, Kristin, Michael D, Mondo, Christopher and April - please step forward. They are Safe. I'm really surprised that Michael C and April aren't in the top, and that Michael D and Kristin aren't in the bottom.

That leaves AJ, Gretchen, Sarah, Valerie, Casanova and Andy for top and bottom. And in Jerk to Model Around, Round Two, Heidi tells the models that if the designer is eliminated, so is the model. I hope they're getting paid this year, because this competition is so arbitrary for them - their actual performance doesn't matter at all.

Valerie used 600 napkins for her dress! She says she was mindful of their previous comments on styling. Michael shows he flunked geometry when he tells her she's  done a 360. Betsey feels like it would be handy to wear at a party, because you'd have napkins readily available. They love everything but the accessory.

With AJ, they hate everything except the accessory. They are totally justified in saying that his look is messy and ill-fitting. They also hate the crotch fringe I mentioned earlier. Betsey appreciates that he at least had a party spirit going.

Betsey feels that Andy's dress is too beautiful for a party store challenge. Michael and Nina love the elegance of it, and Heidi's ready to get into a cage match with Rihanna for it. BTW, Andy made a very cool fingerless glove out of balloons.

Casanova considers himself a couture designer, and feels he can't work with unconventional materials. The judges agree with half of that statement.

Sarah's is simple, sad and a strange snooze.

The judges really get into Gretchen's outfit, except Betsey. Michael has re-discovered his love of separates, and they all agree it's very "her." They have some criticism of the styling.

The other designers backstage ask about what happened, and Gretchen regales them with her expert point of view, even when Andy is asked about his dress. There's a bit of a verbal scuffle that Andy shuts down.

And the verdict:

Valerie is third, and in.
The Winner

Very good call! Perhaps whatever the judges have been smoking has worn off*.
Gretchen is second. 

AJ is safe.


"He thinks he's couture, but he's clueless." "No taste." "None at all." "It was a transvestite flamenco dancer at a funeral." in. *Perhaps not.


They have to be kidding. Besides Casanova, AJ's, Michael D's and Kristin's were all worse than Sarah's.

Perhaps in shock, Ivy passes out and is taken to the hospital.

To keep the party spirit going, I've posted a list of 10 designers I'd love to party with. Who would you invite to your place for a few drinks and some conviviality?

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